experience 2

2. Do not judge. We've all seen it unfold. We are at the store and we see a toddler on the ground, kicking and screaming in a full blown tantrum. The Mother is trying to reason with the child, trying to distract him or maybe just picking the child up and taking him out of the store, still kicking and screaming. What are your thoughts when you witness this? Before children, my thoughts were "I wonder what she is doing wrong?". I know some Mothers will think I am insensitive for thinking that and I totally was, but i am just being honest. Now that I have a child, I see just how judgemental and terrible my thoughts actually were. I did not know ALL CHILDREN have tantrums of some sort. Some having them more frequently, more loudly or more violent than others. We as mothers can choose different ways to diffuse the situation, but it still happens nonetheless, whether in public or private.

Another example of my judgement is a few years back when I worked at Comcast. My boss's two year old daughter was getting up in the middle of the night and crying. She said she was exhausted from trying to get her back to sleep. I had asked her this question: "Why can't you just let her cry?" Famous last words from a now mother that has never and could not bear to let her child cry himself to sleep at any age! God works in funny ways. It is as if He knew how I would parent and was setting the ground work to teach me these lessons that I would not truly learn from until I had a child of my own: DO NOT JUDGE.

I know people with and without children look at me and the way I parent and make judgements in their minds. But what I have learned is never to make any judgements because I am not in any one's shoes but my own. I am not in their family, I do not have their child, I do not live in their house, I am not married to their spouse and I do not come from their background. And because of these things, I cannot judge. Now, when I see a Mother trying to console, reason with or distract their tantrum throwing toddler, I have empathy because I have been there. Now, when I hear about a Mother who gets up multiple times a night with their crying child, I feel empathy because I have been there.

Here are some bible verses that talk about judgement. Take them or leave them, but I take them because apparently I did not read these before having children. :)

"Do not judge others and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others or it will come back against you. Forgive others and you will be forgiven." -Luke 6:37

"God sent His Son into the world, not the judge the world, but the save the world through Him." -John 3:17