experience 1

It is very interesting and sometimes ironic how perspectives change between being childless and having one if not more children. The amount of new information, perspectives, hopes, lifestyle and more gained from having just one child is just astounding. The way I looked at mothers with their children is severely and vastly different now that I have one of my own. I am writing now to express and apologize for those judgments I made before I had a child about the women (and men) who did. Over the next few posts, I will write a list of things that I have learned about parenting since having a child of my own.You may not agree, but thanks for looking anyway. :)

1. Parenting begins BEFORE birth. When we started trying for a baby, I was prepared. I got a physical, stopped drinking the little alcohol I drank, stopped having caffeine, ate better; I basically stopped doing anything that would cut my chances of getting pregnant by the slightest sliver. When we got pregnant, I was famous for reading multiple pregnancy books at a time. On any given day, I could tell you how big my baby was inside me, how much he weighed, if his fingernails were growing, if he could hear yet, etc. Not once did I read or research about actual parenting. When Eli was born, I knew nothing. I thought newborns just slept, ate and pooped. They do those things, but I was not aware of the physical bonding newborns need. I was not aware of the skin to skin contact that will calm newborns down. I was not aware to ask the doctors, once Eli was born, to lay him on me and have him start nursing right away (this helps calm the baby from the stress of birth). I was not aware of the argument as to whether or not you should let your baby cry themselves to sleep (more on that later). I was naive and oblivious. I thought parenting starts when the child is old enough to understand us telling him 'No.' Lucky for me, I had great support and encouragement from other moms that were my friends. With the guidance of them, research I performed on parenting, as well as speaking with my husband and praying to God, we came up with a parenting style that worked for all of us. I even found out that the things I was naturally doing out of instinct helped to figure out the way I wanted to parent (i.e. breastfeeding, holding Eli all of the time, etc.). And now with Evie due in May, I am more prepared and cannot wait to bond with my daughter. Eli is more bonded with me than ever even though I did not do some of the things I want to do now with Evie. He is very loving, always wants to cuddle, falls asleep with arms wrapped around me every night and is a great kid. What you may choose to do may differ from me, but that is why research and communication with your husband are key BEFORE having a child. :)